


i hear your ship is coming in

by benditlikepress



Category: NCIS
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s17e11 In the Wind, F/M, Happy Ending, Missing Scene, post-reunion, this is what i do at 5am after watching an episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:48:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22184350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benditlikepress/pseuds/benditlikepress
Summary: 'Ziva pulled Tali's door closed quietly, and with her asleep and Ziva and Tony finally alone in the hallway, there was an almost audible exhale. As though they'd just survived something. Ziva supposed they had, in a way.'A post 17x11 post-reunion fic
Relationships: Ziva David/Anthony DiNozzo
Comments: 10
Kudos: 99





	i hear your ship is coming in

**Author's Note:**

> title is from anchor by novo amor

Ziva pulled Tali's door closed quietly, and with her asleep and Ziva and Tony finally alone in the hallway, there was an almost audible exhale. As though they'd just survived something. Ziva supposed they had, in a way.

She'd thought a lot about how all of this was going to go over the years. Even as she'd been more transparent with them - secure in the knowledge Tony was raising her to fully understand who she was, she was still fearful of how Tali would react to actually being confronted by this woman who suddenly wanted to be such a big part of her life again after leaving her.

To Ziva's relief, Tali had been nothing but receptive so far. Running out of Tony's grasp to hug her in the airport terminal, talking ten to the dozen on the car ride home, fighting off sleep until she was close to a tantrum so she could continue spending time with her.

Tony had been more tentative. Ziva knew a lot of it was to do with what was hanging in the air between them that they needed to talk about once Tali wasn't with them. She'd been grateful when he'd waited for her to be the one to initiate touch at the airport, and when she'd pulled him into a hug she had half a mind to never let go.

Stood here now, they caught each other's eyes cautiously. Tony's were bright and big, the wrinkles in their corners deeper than Ziva remembered.

"Do you want a drink?" Tony eventually asked, and then he cleared his throat as though he had been practicing the line and it hadn't come out how he intended.

Ziva looked at the time on the clock on the wall. It was gone 10pm.

“I think I would like a tea.”

Before Tony could say anything, Ziva moved into the kitchen. She began opening cupboards and drawers looking for cups, quick and forceful.

“Top left.” Tony answered a question Ziva didn’t ask, and when she opened the cupboard he had pointed out she went to pull out two cups but instead knocked a stack of plates, which almost came hurtling out onto her. A glass that had been to the side of the stack wobbled, and fell, and though it didn’t smash the sound made Ziva jump out of her skin.

“Hey, I’ll do it.”

“No, I’m fine.” Ziva pulled two cups down, placing them onto the countertop with a shake in her hands she tried to force her way through.

“Ziva..” She felt a presence right behind her and froze as fingers came to encircle her wrist. “Stop. I’ll do it.”

They stayed still like that for a few seconds until she allowed Tony to take the cup from her hand with both of his. She withdrew her hand from his slowly and looked up at the unreadable expression on his face as she moved away to allow him to take over.

She sat down at the breakfast bar while Tony made their drinks, watching him move quietly with his back turned.

Once the kettle was boiling he turned to face her, leaning his arms against the countertop and assessing her. Ziva felt a little under scrutiny, but not in a way that made her uncomfortable.

"How are you? How was today?"

The question was loaded, but soft and sympathetic. Ziva had told Tony about her anxiety problems and a good portion of the other stuff that was hurtling through her head at any one moment, a little in Cairo and some more on the phone recently. It seemed fair to, in case the first time he had seen her in 3 years she was hyperventilating in an airport bathroom.

The tone in his voice would usually make Ziva defensive, but instead she felt inexplicably like a child - wanted to cry and curl up while he stroked her hair and whispered comforts to her. She smiled tightly instead.

"A little overwhelming, but overall OK. I thought it would go worse than it did."

"Tali was nervous too."

"That is understandable."

"And I tried to hide it from her, but I kinda wanted to throw up all morning."

The kettle clicked off and Tony poured the drinks before Ziva could think of a response.

He cocked his head and beckoned her to follow him as he carried the cups into the living area. He placed them a few inches apart on a low coffee table and held out his arm to invite Ziva to sit down on the sofa like an awkward dinner host.

Ziva lowered herself down slowly, sitting on the edge with her hands in her lap. Tony waited until she was settled before following and left a purposeful couple of inches between their thighs, more tentative than she could ever remember them being before.

He was watching her again.

"Remember what we said on the phone? About being honest?"

"Yes, I remember."

"What took you so long to get back?"

Ziva watched his face to try to gauge what he was expecting. "Sahar's son went missing, after what happened. I could not leave with that on my conscience."

"Are you sure that's all?"

“Have you spoken to Gibbs?”

“No. Does that mean there is something?” Ziva hesitated again, and Tony sighed. “Look, you can’t not tell me.”

“I realise it might sound… strange. Coming back to be here is all I have wanted, all I’ve been fighting for, for years. But I think when I was faced with the reality of the situation I got scared. What if too much has happened? What if we don't fit together anymore?"

"Me and you?"

“And Tali too, but yes. As much as I tried to keep positive this is never something we have actually given a chance before, and then you stopped answering my texts and I thought….”

Tony looked down at the ground, inhaling sharply. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for-”

“It’s OK.”

“No, it’s not.” Tony interrupted again, putting his hand in the air. “I just needed a little time for myself, to get my head around it. Then I figured maybe Tali could say it better than me. But I shouldn’t have worried you, or made you think something was wrong. I’m sorry.”

"What were you reluctant about?"

"I guess I just didn't know what to expect. Y'know, I've been waiting for so long. The thought of calling you on the phone not knowing how that would go.. I guess I got freaked out. A little."

"I cannot blame you for that. That is the reason I was so scared to come back. I fear I am not the same person you remember. But when I think about the idea of not being with you I just..” Ziva paused, allowing herself a moment to compose herself with the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. “I think I am being selfish.”

“How is it selfish?”

"Because I want to be with you, but I am not sure if I can be what you need me to be."

"OK, stop. What do you think I need you to be?"

".. Consistent? And.. open, and trustworthy. Things that are a bare minimum in a relationship, I cannot sit here and tell you I am capable of right now. Or that I ever will be. You're going to end up getting hurt."

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Try to find an excuse to not allow yourself to be happy. How are you _still_ doing that?”

She felt embarrassed for a moment, knowing he was right, but he grabbed her hand tightly and she looked up again to meet the small frown on his face.

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe what I actually _need_ is you? And that whatever comes with it is just a part of life that we will deal with together, not something that could keep us apart?"

Ziva didn't say anything, thinking his words over. He was doing it again, she realised: being the type of person she didn't allow herself to dream she deserved, accepting her time and time again.

"Just humour me for a second, OK?" Ziva nodded, and her gaze fixated on their hands on her lap. "Do you remember how we were when we first met?"

That caught her attention, and she looked up to see the weighted twinkle in Tony's eye. "I was.. immature, and arrogant, and so set in my ways. And you, you were so.. wild. And you never let me relax for a moment, did you? Never gave me a second's peace without teasing me or getting a kick out of making me uncomfortable."

"What is your point?"

"My point is... think from how we were then, to how we were when we made Tali. Do you even think of that as being the same people? Because I don't. So much happened, and so much changed. The one thing that stayed the same, the one constant in all of this, was me and you together. That no matter how much we changed, we still had this thing that tied us together."

"Even back then, Tony, I pushed you away, or did things that hurt you. Things I deeply regret."

"Well, same here. We could be idiots sometimes, but that doesn't change what's happening now. In all that time, with everything that happened and everything that changed," a diplomatic way of putting it, "I never stopped thinking that it was the right thing for us to be facing it together. And even when I left you.. I didn't leave because I stopped loving you. I left _because_ I loved you, and I was respecting what you needed.

Can you really sit here now and say things aren't going to work out, or I might not feel the same anymore? That you're going to hurt me, and that's a fact?"

"No, it is not a fact. But it could happen."

"And a meteor could strike earth tomorrow and kill us all."

"This is much more likely than that, Tony. I do not think you understand how much has happened. How much has changed in me."

"So tell me. Let me understand."

"I will. I will tell you, but not tonight. It will take a long time for me to get through it all. But what I want you to know for now is that.. I want to be there for you like you have been for me. Like you _always_ have been for me. It is the least you deserve after you have done so much without me doing anything in return. And I do not know if I can ever be normal, or if I can ever be the same person, but I want for you and Tali to be able to rely on me. That is my aim, in all of this."

"Then how can you fear things being different? You're doing the best you can. We all are. And that's all we could ask of you. We aren't looking for some perfect image of a person, because that doesn't exist. We just want you. _I_ just want you, Ziva."

She watched the hopefulness in his eyes, and the kind expression on his face. She believed him, endlessly. Fought down thoughts that this was only proof that he deserved better.

No: he wanted her. That was that.

"Since when did you get so wise?"

"Wise?" Tony exclaimed the word a little too loudly, confusion and delight in his voice.

"Not _wise_ , but.. philosophical. Being able to talk about things like that."

"One thing I've learned the last couple of years: kids don't give a crap about your excuses for emotional immaturity. Plus, quite a lot of therapy."

"Do you have someone you can recommend?" Ziva responded eventually, and the smile Tony gave her was the brightest she had seen from anyone in years.

It was surreal, seeing him smile. Surreal she was even here at all. Maybe this would all hit her properly when she was lying in bed, or when she woke up in the morning to the sound of Tali’s voice.

She realised she was staring when Tony’s brow furrowed and released slightly, and she looked away self-consciously even as he continued to smile. His gaze followed her.

"Y'know, I do like wise."

"I did not mean wise, and I already regret saying it."

“Fine, I’ll let it go. I know what you mean.”

"I don't think I have ever been able to talk about things like that. I used to keep diaries but I think that is different to confronting it so head-on."

"I'm not expecting you to become a Meg Ryan character. I don't want you to. We're going to take it slow, right? There's no rush. I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you."

"I love you."

The words fell out of her mouth before she could stop them. It seemed absurd she'd never said it before, how easily it happened now.

Tony didn’t skip a beat.

"I love you too."

Ziva didn’t realise until then that they were still holding hands, when he raised them to his mouth and kissed the back of her palm.

Silence passed between them, comfortable and content. Ziva was still getting used to the feeling – being able to _breathe_ again, not having her brain filled with a million different plans and secrets that she might need to recall at a second’s notice.

Tony broke it first after a long sigh. Maybe he was still learning how to breathe too.

"Senior's on his way, he should arrive midday tomorrow. I thought he could do something with Tali. Give us more time to talk."

"Does he know?"

"I told him this morning. Didn't think that kind of surprise would be a fun one when you're that age. But he’ll be glad to see you, I know that. I think he booked his flight before I even hung up the phone."

“Does Tali see him often?”

“All the time. You’ll see, she has him eating out of the palm of her hand.”

“I am really glad the two of you are seeing a lot of each other, Tony.”

“Yeah, me too. I have to hand it to him: he stepped up. But then that’s what families are, I guess. There for each other, no matter what.”

There was a silent prompt in the sentence, a ‘like me and you’, and Ziva could see he was pleased when she couldn’t help but smile.

“OK, point taken. It will be nice to see him. And nice to see you, alone. There is so much we need to talk about.”

Ziva knew, realistically, nothing between them could go any further until they’d spoken about everything they needed to. She needed that, and she was sure Tony did too: a chance to get everything off their chests so they could start afresh, fully from scratch.

More than anything, for now, being here was enough. Everything else they could figure out along the way.

“I do not know how dating works for parents, but perhaps the next time he visits the two of us could go out.”

“Oh yeah?”

“We have done things a little backwards, but I would like that.”

"What do you do on a first date knowing you're going to be together forever?"

He said the question like it was nothing, just an everyday phrase, and Ziva tried to mask the way it made her heart quicken. "The movies?"

"I thought watching movies with me was torture. You said it often enough."

"And yet I would still watch them with you, almost every week?"

“Ah, so now you’re finally acknowledging you had a whole treat ‘em mean to keep ‘em keen thing going on, huh?”

“In the interests of honesty.”

“Well if _I’m_ being honest, I’m pretty beat right now. What do you say, to be continued tomorrow?”

“To be continued. I have not slept much the last couple of days, and not a wink on the plane.”

They both stood up and Ziva followed Tony as he went to place their cups in the sink. When he turned back to face her he had a small, sheepish grin on his face. Ziva desperately wanted to kiss it.

“What?”

"Sorry we don't have a guest room, but I can sleep out here for now if you like."

"There is no need for that. I, too, would like to take things slow, but it is not like we don't already have a child." Tony opened his mouth to respond, but before he could Ziva held up her hand and shook her head. “If you are about to tell me you still have a twin bed..”

“I have a King now, I think I overcorrected. But uh, no. I was just going to say it’s good to have you back.”

“Good to be back.”

“Good.” Tony nodded as though they had decided something, and Ziva shook her head affectionately. “Now, are you gonna come over here or do I need to come to you?”

Ziva walked over to him slowly, and it was clear from the way he opened his body that he was expecting a hug. He wrapped his arms around her waist but before he could duck his head onto her shoulder Ziva took hold of it. The look in his eyes was startlingly earnest, and he seemed a little surprised when Ziva pressed a slow kiss to his lips.

Tony’s hands soon found her cheeks, as they always did. Ziva lowered her own to his hips, holding him, half-believing he would disappear if she didn’t.

When they separated, barely, Ziva opened her eyes and looked at his face from this angle – memorising everything she was worried she had forgotten. Remembered how his hands felt against her skin. She could recall doing the same when they’d said goodbye six years earlier, not realising the tiny thing that was growing in her stomach would be a reminder for a lifetime.

“God, I missed you.” He said as he held her face in his hands, looking down on her with eyes shining like he still couldn’t believe it was real. “Come on. Bed. Sleep. We can talk tomorrow.”

Ziva took his hand.


End file.
